Child Rearing Philosophies

What are mine. and I wish that I was wiser when my children were little...but I did try to do this.
One of my biggest ones is Respect.....to treat them as I would want to be treated....
I remember when the girls in particular were little........ Sunday Birthday Parties were discouraged because of how we honour the Sabbath....but the decision was theirs..... it was in Pre Primary and when invitations came in which many did..... I would explain to them that we would buy a present and give it to the Birthday person another day with our apologise, but it was our wish well mine really as Tony at the time was not in the Gospel, but always supported me.....that they didn't attend, also explaining about the Sabbath that it was a special day and there were some things we would prefer that they didn't do......BUT the choice was theirs ......The girls were of course sad and made their choice not to go...all except Nicolette ... her decision was respected.....and she went to the party, when it came to pick her up...when she got in the car she said " Oh Mum I didn't feel happy and I wanted to come home"......a lesson learnt very early...which was the whole purpose of them making their own decisions and us abiding with them....... We always felt that early choices were important.......we never made them feel guilty...we were just trying to teach them basic principles...that we as a Family adhered to and believed in. ....it never came up again and to this day the Sabbath is kept in a special way in their families......
.The only exceptions to their freedom of choosing, were of course anything dangerous ...or how much and what .T.V........and things that adults have the responsibility over...One frustration was cloths !!!!...Nic never wanted to wear pants, Nome never wanted to wear skirts.....including to Church on Sundays,  the skirt wasn't a problem ...but the pants were.....so we agreed that on Sundays and when we went out, I made the choice on what was to be worn...we did have some funny combinations during the week though in those early years.......and I see some funny combinations in some of our Grandchildren.
Validation is up there as well.....I wish I had done that one better but I am sure making up for it now with our Grandchildren......oh how a tender self image can be affected...without Validation.!!
 Unconditional Love is one that comes easy..I imagine it does with most parents.......oh the softness of a Mother's Heart.
If I could change one thing it would be that I had laughed more with my children.......I was pretty intense.... I think at times....... I was very organised had to be with 4 under 5 and three others, plus some other pretty responsible positions. More laughter would have been a better way.
Tony taught me a great philosophy....and it is simple, but profound, many of the problems that we have today would be different...and that is "No must mean No"    this statement really caused me to stop and think before I would give an answer...because once I did I had to stick by it.
These of course were some of my most important Philosophies.